Toastmaster Speech 3 :: Competent Communicator Manual
I’m Speechless
I hate to say this, but I feel like quitting Toastmasters. It’s not that I don’t enjoy the meetings – on the contrary, I look forward to them with eager anticipation. So why this sudden change of heart?
I’m not blaming anyone! I volunteered to give a speech. I had chosen a topic months ago and was looking forward to displaying my command over words. So when I finally sat down to set my thoughts on paper, I expected them to simply flow onto the page. But what happened? Nothing!
No problem, I thought. I’ve just chosen the wrong topic. I wrote a snappy introduction for an entirely different speech. And then, nothing!
I was becoming just a bit apprehensive, but I forged ahead and tried another topic. The blank page told exactly what was in my mind. I felt the Goosebumps rise as the horrible realization crept up on me and suddenly grabbed me. This was to be my third speech, but by some cruel quirk of nature I had been born with only two speeches in me.
What a fool I am! I should have guessed last meeting when I floundered at Table Topics. All this time I’ve been passing as normal among Toastmasters who progress through their 10 Manual speeches and earn their C.T.M. badge, then they go on to obtain A.T.M.s and D.T.M.
How long would it be before they discover I’m just a 2 Speech Toastmaster? Oh, the shame and embarrassment! What is a person like me doing in a Toastmasters Club?
Hold on, I thought, Maybe I could go on bluffing a little longer if I could squeeze out something – anything – that sounded like a speech.
I grabbed a fresh page. At the top I wrote the title of my speech. I underlined it. Then I drew a box around it. I decorated the edge with scallops. I filled in the “O” and the “D”.
Underneath I wrote my shopping list.
My phone rang and it was some call center executive, spent some time bugging him!!
As I looked around the house for inspiration, I dipped myself in perspiration. And found something I couldn’t imagine, the postman had offered a reprieve. I took the latest “Reader’s Digest” from the letterbox. Ah, surely I’d find inspiration there. Each article would have made a great speech. If only I had thought of it first. But what can you expect from a 2 speech toastmaster?
I spent the afternoon reading the Digest.
Next morning I looked at the crossword in the paper. Why hadn’t I thought of that before? Crosswords stimulate the mind and improve the vocabulary. But this was evidently a trick crossword. The clues were easy enough but it didn’t have the right number of squares for my solutions.
So what I thought, it’s just the written thing. Maybe I don’t have the writer kind of personality; it’s also possible that my two speech toastmaster ship is coming in the way of my greatness. I realized that I can come up with something if I have a more visual approach so I turned the TV on and after flipping channel for almost an hour found what I was looking for the age old…ahem.. Knowledgeable classic ‘wheel of fortune’ but I should also have guessed then that being just a 2 speech toastmaster this might just be my wheel of misfortune…
My wits were rattled just to guess the word ‘relationship’ but hey isn’t everyone’s brains rattled around those? As the show went on I forgot all about my cares and felt sorry for myself because I kept running out of squares to fill in the words I guessed. There were empty squares sometimes which I worked out must be to show pictures as hints or maybe the idiot who runs the show put some extra boxes so that people like me can feel as if the word we chose is wrong and thus should span more boxes.
Now I was really worried. Not only had I used up all my speeches, I was also running out of words.
And as pat sajack and vanna white said farewell for next time I pictured your faces telling me the same when I tell you that I am going to quit.
Frantically I reviewed my 2 speeches. If only I’d known, I could have spread them over a longer period. Uhh … If I’d just used one a year I could have masqueraded as a Toastmaster for 2 years! And look at the topics I’d chosen. I had squandered my birthright on frivolous subjects. I should have made every word count.
It’s not fair! Someone should have warned me. There’s no mention of such a possibility in the “Competent Communication” manual.
I reread the manual right through. The basic outline of a speech sounds quite simple – for normal Toastmasters.
“Your speech must have a purpose” it says. Capture their attention and lead into the topic. Hmmmm…. I read on.
The body of the speech should have 3 points. But my mind is in such confusion, I don’t know what the 3 points are!
Can any of you tell me what the 3 points are?? Maybe I should pass on chits to all of you and then just pick any three and use them as my 3 points! Or I can just pick 3 points off my body and use them in my speech.
I’ll just have to confess that I’m a 2 speech Toastmaster. I thought I’d get your attention by saying I feel like quitting. Then I’d explain that the reason is because I’ve made this awful discovery. Next, I’d tell how I tried to get around it, and then I’d tell what I’ve decided.
I’ll conclude by saying if you don’t mind having a 2 speech toastmaster in the club, I won’t quit just yet. At least not until I’m due to give the next speech!
