Continue reading »]]> Source: http://www.fakingnews.com/2010/03/himesh-beats-phoonk-2-declares-10-lakh-challenge-for-his-album/

Actor, singer, composer, and heartthrob Himesh Reshammiya has bettered Ram Gopal Varma’s 5 lakh rupees Phoonk 2 challenge and has offered 10 lakh rupees to anyone who can take up his Aansuon Ka Dard challenge. Aansuon Ka Dard is the name of the upcoming album of Himesh and it contains 10 brand new songs sung in different styles, with and without nose, by the legendary singer.

Continue reading »]]> Noida. A consortium of supernatural creatures has voted Indian news channel India TV as the best news channel of the last decade. The winner was chosen after thousands of bhoot (ghosts), pishaach (devils), djinn (genies), him-maanav (yetis), taantrik (black-magicians), chudail (vamps), daayan (witches), etc. took part in an occult poll conducted by Faking News. Only Hindi news channels were selected for voting by the consortium in the first round.

“Watching India TV is awesomeness.” said the paataal ka bauna (the dwarf from the underground) as he expressed his deepest delight after the results of the poll were announced, where India TV grossed more than three-fourth of the total valid votes polled. Vampires and other members of the consortium belonging to the Telangana region didn’t participate in the poll to register their protest for the formation of a separate state.

“I am pretty sure our bhoot brethrens from Telangana would have voted no differently.” said the kapde churane wala bhoot (the ghost who stole your clothes), expressing confidence that the results would have been no different either ways. “There is a near unanimity among all of us on the issue of India TV. We all love when they break news.” added the cloth-stealing ghost.

One of the thousands of news stories of India TV that Chudails love to watch again and again

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When asked why these allegedly ghoulish creatures loved India TV so much, all the ghosts and witches started laughing devilishly. They laughed continuously for around two hours, pausing thirteen times in between to take commercial breaks, before their leader, the pyaaz maangne wali chudail (the onion loving witch) spoke up.

“We used to love Ramsay Brothers, but those guys stopped producing quality movies and moved to television with Zee Horror Show. But even that show stopped when the world moved into 21^st century. Our TRPs were falling like crazy. And then, the 9/11 attacks happened; the world got besotted with terrorists thereafter. We were like, what-the-fuck, nobody seemed to be terrified of us anymore. Some of the good people like David Icke tried to blame 9/11 on people like us, but no one took them seriously. We were so depressed.” said the onion loving witch, as other members of the consortium nodded in agreement.

The members surprisingly revealed that they were not so upbeat when Rajat Sharma launched the channel in 2004. They thought it was just another news channel for human beings. But their interest level went up when they saw Shakti Kapoor molesting a girl on India TV. Excited at the scenes, the members decided to become patrons of India TV.

“Our loyalty paid off. Soon we were back in news and business.” said the witch, grinning and smiling like SPS Rathore. The members vehemently denied that they had any stake in India TV. “We are poor people; we can’t invest or buy stakes in your modern businesses. But if we had money, we surely would have invested in India TV.” admitted the witch.

All the witches, ghosts, vampires, black-magicians, devils, etc. have wished all the best to India TV for the new year and the new decade.

Source: http://www.fakingnews.com/2009/12/chudails-vote-india-tv-as-the-best-news-channel-of-last-decade/

Continue reading »]]> All credit goes to Pagal Patrakar from The Faking News

New Delhi. “Have you ever farted loudly in public?” was the question that popped up on his computer screen when Ankit Agarwal was taking CAT 2009 online at the Delhi Business School center here. A shocked and upset Ankit looked around to find equally dumbfounded faces of fellow test takers at the center. A few minutes passed when all of them realized that CAT servers had been hacked.

“I found all the students straining their eyes and looking around with puzzling looks at each other, and I sensed that something was wrong. But I still answered the fart question by choosing the option (b), which was in affirmative, assuming IIMs wanted to test us on some abstruse parameter as MBAs are often accused of creating fart. And to my horror, the next thing on screen was a middle finger, telling me I was a loser. I immediately knew that the servers were hacked.” Ankit recounted his harrowing experience.

Students were shocked to see such images on their computer screen as they took CAT 2009 online

Several centers around the country reported the same problem with the students asked absolutely ridiculous and offensive questions such as “have you ever slept with a potato in your underwear?” and “will you mop up the poop of pet dog of your boss to get promotion?”, all of them ending with a middle finger on the screen when students cared to choose an available option. It was the first day of online CAT (Common Admission Test) for admission to the six (as of today) IIMs and many other well known and lesser known MBA institutes.

“IIMs are known to change the pattern of CAT quite often, therefore many students thought that maybe these questions had some hidden meanings. But we felt like losers once that middle finger appeared on the screen. I talked to many of my friends and all of them feel the same. The questions appeared to have been taken straight out of a show of Sach Ka Saamna.” Chetan Pandit, another CAT test taker shared his experience.

IIMs have called for an emergency meeting this evening to discuss the problem and to nail down the hacker, but the event has already caused huge embarrassment to them. Many students, who otherwise had bunked the online CAT to see movies, were seen demonstrating in front of the centers asking IIMs to go back to paper-and-pen tests. Samajwadi Party activists too joined the protests and broke computers as a symbol of protest.

This unfortunate incident has also caused many test conducting agencies and internet security agencies to pitch for their services to IIMs and ask them to outsource CAT to them. These agencies have also approached Ministry of Human Resource Development with what they termed as ‘lucrative’ proposals.

Meanwhile the students are fuming over the possibility that they will have to take the test again, which is often touted as their ticket to a better life. Most of the students believe, and more importantly want their parents to believe, that they were performing exceptionally well at the test before the hackers struck and denied them an opportunity to change their lives.